Sunday, August 19, 2012

Trying to Outrun Grief....

....but all I got was a PR.

This past March we found out Karma was in renal failure.  Last Friday she lost the battle.  She has left us with an quiet & empty house along with very heavy hearts but also with lots and lots of great memories.  She was the best damn dog.  It is such a bummer that she is gone.

I ran last Tuesday morning - my usual couple laps around the block before work.  On my first lap around when I ran by the house I saw Karma sitting in the window.  My heart jumped for joy momentarily.  You see, I always thought the day she could no longer jump up on her stool will be an incredibly sad day for me.  As I got closer, my heart sank because I knew Steve had put her up there because she was too weak to jump up on her own.  She was still actively watching me run by though.  My second lap was run in tears.

Sitting on that damn stool was one of her favorite things to do.  If we weren't both home she would hold vigil on that stool, watching out the window waiting for us to get home.  It was the sweetest thing to come home to - seeing her face in the window, happy as can be that her peeps are finally home.

I have heard how some folks run through grief.  It helps them deal with the sadness.  Honestly, remembering my last run, it was the last thing I wanted to do today.  But I did it anyway.  I put on my run clothes, got out my iPod shuffle, strapped on my Garmin & headed out the door.

Normally, I walk for the first 5 minutes them start running.  Today, I walked three and a half minutes before starting to run.  I ran towards the Arboretum woods, through the woods, around the Arboretum, back through the woods & then home.  3.4 miles in 35m29s.  That's including a leisurely 15 min/mile pace for the first 3+ minutes.  That's about a minute faster than previous best arbo run.   I would gladly trade all PRs for more time with Miss Karma.

Today I ran with music - normally I like running to the fast songs & skip over the slow ones.  Today was the opposite.  I wanted to run to the slow songs & skipped all the fast ones.  Here are a few of the songs I ran to today:

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe

Talking Heads - This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)

The Thorns - Blue

Brandi Carlile - Turpentine

Gomez - Little Pieces

Radiohead - Karma Police

In the upcoming weeks I am going to put together some posts documenting her story (it's a great one) as well as gathering up all her pictures we have taken over the years to create a story book for Steve & myself.  Karma was so much more than a pet.  She was a little buddy to each of us.  She was a member of our family and we will miss her dearly.    


  1. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family for your loss

  2. This brought me to tears. Even though they leave a huge void when they leave, it is still a bargain for all the happiness they bring when they are here. They bring so much into our lives. I am so sorry for your loss!!

    1. I completely agree Duckie! I wouldn't trade the past 10 1/2 years with Karma for anything!

  3. How sad. I just keep thinking about her story and what a good dog she was to you guys. Good dogs just don't come along very often. Makes me cry.

  4. When I think of Karma, I always think of her grunting... she was such a special dog and i'm so happy that I got to meet her. I'm looking forward to reading and remembering her more in the next few weeks!!

  5. I hate this for you guys, I can't even imagine. I can't wait to hear more about her story, the stool story just brought tears to my eyes. thinking about you all!

  6. I'm so sorry about Karma and I'm sorry that I'm so late in reading about it. Thoughts and prayers for you guys!



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